With the upcoming arrival of my sister to town and living with me I’ve been thinking of all the things that will have to change in my house now that I have a roommate again. After living with the BGF and her husband for two years I had trained myself not to do many of the things I would otherwise do when alone. And no, it’s nothing gross–I have family members reading this.
There’s the obvious, like walking around the house naked (unwelcome visual? Sorry) and peeing with the door open. Then there are the more unusual things I do when there is absolutely definitely no one else around. It’s easy when you live alone. You let your guard down since there are no worries about someone suddenly walking in. I know, it sounds like I’m talking about something wrong and dirty. Here’s what I mean:
1. Falling asleep absolutely anywhere. BD (Before Dozer) I would sleep in the following places: couch, chair, floor of the living room, floor of the bedroom, floor of the office, bed, leaning against the couch, leaning against the chair, leaning against the bed, and once leaning against the wall. Oh, and on the floor in the hallway. Why? Not sure. When it was hot out it was because some places were cooler than others. I started out on the couch after I first moved in, but found it gave me a headache so I moved to the floor. And these were just for naps, not for a night’s sleep. Well, except one time, but it had been a long day. It’s harder to sleep in these places now because Dozer will attack at any moment.
2. Talking to myself. For those who know me it should be absolutely no surprise whatsoever that I have conversations. Alone. With myself. I’ve been told this isn’t all that unusual; a lot of highly intelligent people talk to themselves. Although, so do a lot of highly insane people. But it does help me think and get ideas out, like when I’m working on my paper (every day, guys!) or plotting my day in the morning. I also practice-teach. If I’m introducing a new lesson I’ll talk myself through it and work out some of the kinks. See, not too crazy…right?
3. Eating in odd places. This may not be all that unusual, but I grew up with the law that you ate in one of two places: at the table, or in front of the tv. I have no table, nor do I have a tv, so I often end up sitting in the pink chair in my living room while I eat dinner. However, I also eat sitting on the floor, sitting on my bed, perched on the arm of the couch (I was escaping a cricket the cats were trying to hunt), and sitting on top of the coffee table. It was surprisingly comfortable.
4. Farting. Okay, if you prefer to think of me as a dainty, proper girl, stop reading. I do not like to fart in front of people. I’ll belch, and everyone who has had close, extended contact with me in one form or another has heard me belch. But that’s it. I will not fart. I will, however, if I’m by myself. What do I care? But it’s no deal if someone else is around, even if they’re in a completely different room. Can’t do it.
5. Sitting on things that are not designed to be sat on (sat upon? who cares…). I kind of do this around other people, but I more often do it when I’m alone. Like in the bathroom, I’ll sit on the vanity. In the living room I’ll sit on the coffee table or the back of the couch or chair. In the kitchen I’ll sit on the counter. In the office, it’s on the desk. As with the sleeping thing, I’m not sure why I do this. There’s just something kind of satisfying about using furniture for a purpose that wasn’t its original intention. Tank likes it, too:
Tank in the dryer
It may be that these things I do aren’t really that strange. They just seem odd, and they’re things I won’t do around other people. I mean, farting obviously isn’t weird, but that’s on the list because I’m weird.
By now, shouldn\'t I be smarter? 