Libraries

Of course I’d write a post about libraries.  I’m an English major.

Right now I’m sitting in the Reading Room at the top floor of the Seattle Central Library.  You can read more about this library if you’d like, but here’s the quick and dirty: it was re-opened in 2004 after Seattle voters opted for a brand new building.  Apparently this same location has housed two other Central libraries.  It could hold 1.45 million books; right now, it holds 1 million.

The most interesting part of this library, to me at least, is that it looks nothing at all like my brain thinks a library should look.

Here’s my vision of a library:

Trinity College Library

And here’s Seattle Central Library:

Inside:

Yes, that is a lime green escalator.

Not quite what I had in mind, but I’m getting used to it.  It’s definitely huge, has a very large collection, and is kind of fun to hang out in.  Plus, they have a coffee bar complete with snacks, and a gift shop for that “unique Seattle gift.”  Hello, tourism.  I could get used to this….

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Who, me? Crazy? No way.

With the upcoming arrival of my sister to town and living with me I’ve been thinking of all the things that will have to change in my house now that I have a roommate again.  After living with the BGF and her husband for two years I had trained myself not to do many of the things I would otherwise do when alone.  And no, it’s nothing gross–I have family members reading this.

There’s the obvious, like walking around the house naked (unwelcome visual?  Sorry) and peeing with the door open.  Then there are the more unusual things I do when there is absolutely definitely no one else around.  It’s easy when you live alone.  You let your guard down since there are no worries about someone suddenly walking in.  I know, it sounds like I’m talking about something wrong and dirty.  Here’s what I mean:

1.  Falling asleep absolutely anywhere.  BD (Before Dozer) I would sleep in the following places: couch, chair, floor of the living room, floor of the bedroom, floor of the office, bed, leaning against the couch, leaning against the chair, leaning against the bed, and once leaning against the wall.  Oh, and on the floor in the hallway.  Why?  Not sure.  When it was hot out it was because some places were cooler than others.  I started out on the couch after I first moved in, but found it gave me a headache so I moved to the floor.  And these were just for naps, not for a night’s sleep.  Well, except one time, but it had been a long day.  It’s harder to sleep in these places now because Dozer will attack at any moment.

2.  Talking to myself.  For those who know me it should be absolutely no surprise whatsoever that I have conversations.  Alone.  With myself.  I’ve been told this isn’t all that unusual; a lot of highly intelligent people talk to themselves.  Although, so do a lot of highly insane people.  But it does help me think and get ideas out, like when I’m working on my paper (every day, guys!) or plotting my day in the morning.  I also practice-teach.  If I’m introducing a new lesson I’ll talk myself through it and work out some of the kinks.  See, not too crazy…right?

3.  Eating in odd places.  This may not be all that unusual, but I grew up with the law that you ate in one of two places: at the table, or in front of the tv.  I have no table, nor do I have a tv, so I often end up sitting in the pink chair in my living room while I eat dinner.  However, I also eat sitting on the floor, sitting on my bed, perched on the arm of the couch (I was escaping a cricket the cats were trying to hunt), and sitting on top of the coffee table.  It was surprisingly comfortable.

4.  Farting.  Okay, if you prefer to think of me as a dainty, proper girl, stop reading.  I do not like to fart in front of people.  I’ll belch, and everyone who has had close, extended contact with me in one form or another has heard me belch.  But that’s it.  I will not fart.  I will, however, if I’m by myself.  What do I care?  But it’s no deal if someone else is around, even if they’re in a completely different room.  Can’t do it.

5.  Sitting on things that are not designed to be sat on (sat upon?  who cares…).  I kind of do this around other people, but I more often do it when I’m alone.  Like in the bathroom, I’ll sit on the vanity.  In the living room I’ll sit on the coffee table or the back of the couch or chair.  In the kitchen I’ll sit on the counter.  In the office, it’s on the desk.  As with the sleeping thing, I’m not sure why I do this.  There’s just something kind of satisfying about using furniture for a purpose that wasn’t its original intention.  Tank likes it, too:

Tank in the dryer

It may be that these things I do aren’t really that strange.  They just seem odd, and they’re things I won’t do around other people.  I mean, farting obviously isn’t weird, but that’s on the list because I’m weird.

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10 things you learn about kittens…

…when you have one for the first time in a really long time.

1. A tail makes a great toy.  Doesn’t matter who it belongs to.

2. Anything can be climbed, including a cement wall.

3. Everything can be eaten.  Dust, rocks, people’s toes…everything.

4. The fridge is a fun place to hide.

5. Bras also make great toys.  Who knew?

6. Apparently there really is another cat in the mirror, and hissing and spitting at it will make it hiss and spit back.

7. You should always eat when the big, fat cat you live with is eating.

8. Poop in the litterbox is there to be flung out of the litterbox.

9. A paper bag is the most fantastic invention ever, especially at three in the morning.

10. Falling asleep on top of the big, fat cat makes up for numbers 1-9.

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A Telephone Conversation with My Sister

Me: “Hello?”

Norman: “Hi, Emmy.”

Me: “Hi Norman! How are you?”

N: “Good.” Pause. “How are you?”

M: “Not too bad. How’s work?”

N: “Good.” Pause. “How’s your work?”

M: “Oh, it’s fine. A lot of work, but you know how things get. It’s busy this time of year.”

Pause

M: “Norman, you still there?”

N: “Oh, what, huh? Yeah, I am.”

M: “Okay. What’s going on?”

N: “Nothing.”

M: “Did you call me for something?”

N: “Maybe.”

Pause.

M: “Norman, what did you call me for?”

N: “Well…Emmy, I miss Bunny!”

Oh, crap.

M: “Well, Norman, I’m sure he misses you too.”

N: “Really? Did he tell you that?”

M: “Yes, he just did…No, he didn’t tell me that! He’s a cat, for godsakes, he can’t talk!”

N: “Emmy, yes he can! He talks to you all the time!”

M: “Yes, I know, but that’s called meowing, not talking.”

N: “No, Emmy, that’s talking.”

M: “Dammit, no it isn’t. How old are you, seriously?”

N: “Oh, Emmy, don’t be so mean. Bunny loves you and talks to you all the time…”

M: “If you don’t stop right now I’m going to hang up on you.”

N: “Oh, Emmy.” Pause. “Mommy and I love you.”

M: “Yes, Norman, I know. I love you too.”

N: “Does Bunny love me?”

M: “Yes, Norman, I’m sure he does.”

N: “How do you know? Does he tell you?”

M: “I thought we just went over that. He’s a cat, he tells me nothing.”

N: “Oh, Emmy, play along!”

M: “Norman, I’m not interested.”

N: “Oh, Emmy, you’re no fun anymore.”

M: “You’re right Norman, I’m not.”

N: “Okay then.”

M: “Okay.”

N: “Okay.”

M: “Are we done here?”

N: “Yes, Emmy, we’re done. Go back to being boring and no fun.”

M: “Thank you, Norman, I will. You go back to being insane.”

N: “Okay, Emmy. I love you, bye bye!”

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Big Kids

Today I had lunch with my brother, sister, and her boyfriend/fiancee, and I think for the first time my brother and sister and I actually acted like adults.  That is, if I ignore my brother’s comments about never wanting to graduate from college so he doesn’t have to get a real job, my sister’s comments about me being a mother to my cat, and her boyfriend’s comments about how amazed he is that he hasn’t gotten a DUI recently.  But there were no fights, I didn’t order anyone around (at least I don’t think), we all had money to pay for our own food (except my sister, but that’s for later), and we talked about normal adult things like the health benefits of wild Alaskan salmon versus farm-raised salmon.  Maybe that’s a normal adult thing to talk about, I really don’t know.  I’m not much of an adult.

For whatever reason, today’s lunch reminded me of the family meals we had when we were younger that usually involved name-calling, food-throwing, and a lot of yelling.  And when I say younger I mean three years ago.  We’ve matured a lot.  I don’t think it had anything to do with my sister’s boyfriend being there.  He’s just as bad as the three of us.  He would have gotten as into as we used to.

Today’s lunch also made me really miss my brother and sister when they were actually little, like five and six.  They were so stinkin’ cute!  If I wasn’t so lazy I’d have pictures of them scanned and saved on my computer, then I could actually put them up here.  Maybe someday.  For now I can only give the image of my brother and I kicking each other under the table, my sister stabbing my brother in the hand with a fork, and my brother spraying milk from his teeth at my sister and I.  Ahh, family meals.

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No More Hummers

Get your minds out of the gutter, people.

I just read a post on ecogeek.org about the demise of the Hummer H2, GMC’s “iconic vehicle” (barf).

Apparently people don’t want to buy the H2. They think it uses too much fuel; you know, it is the least efficient SUV on the road.

This is a fabulous plan, and while I’m partially happy for the greenies, I’m a wee bit happier due to my own selfish interests. Granted, an incredibly inefficient SUV is a drain on fuel resources, contributes to emissions, etc. This is definitely a drawback.

But, what really frustrates me is the drivers of the H2 and its ilk. Seriously, how many people who have Hummers actually use them for their traditional design? Probably 2, but that could be inflated. I’m thinking of the new H2 campaign that surfaced after Hurricane Katrina, attempting to make Hummers look good by showing Hummer owners using them to help during natural disasters. Their tagline is “Purpose Built,” and the campaign tried to show how H2’s had some actual use besides barreling down a nicely paved city street. Yeah, I’m not feelin’ it. And it gets better. Mark LaNeve, the vice president of sales, service and marketing for GM North America, was quoted in a USAToday interview as saying: “No one criticizes a bulldozer for its gas mileage. That’s because it’s built to do a job.” Um, yeah. You also don’t drive a bulldozer to the store for groceries, on a daily commute to the office, or on a weekend jaunt to the lake. Obviously he’s trying to compare the Hummer’s job as “Purpose Built” to a bulldozer, but seriously, these aren’t the Humvees the military uses. You don’t need a camouflaged Hummer to pick up bread and milk at the grocery store. Well, at least not in Manhattan, Kansas. I can’t speak for all areas of the country.

I also don’t like trying to drive next to them on four-lane roads. They inevitably take up more space than they are allotted, and my car is dwarfed by these annoying big things. Plus, they’re kind of ugly. Really. If you want an SUV that looks like a Jeep, get a damn Jeep. You’ll look cooler, be narrower, and won’t have people looking at you on the road wondering why the hell your off-road vehicle is so shiny and clean.

Here’s another reason I really dislike H2 drivers and fans: this message board response to the above egogeek post.

“your all assholes, i love the hummer, im glad it pisses you off because it polutes so much, and i personally think its assholes like you who have nothing better to do but complain about stuff that you want it discontinued…let us live life how we want to, i dont care if one of my 4 suvs might possable polute the earth, my life, i drive what i want.”

Wow.  Are kids not learning how to spell in school these days?

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Nice hair…

Early (early) morning conversation with the bestgoodfriend:

Me, standing in the bathroom futzing with my hair. BGF, standing at the end of the hallway ready to leave for school. Time: way too early (as evidenced, shortly)

BGF: “Have a good day.”

Me: “You too.”

BGF: “I love you…”

Me: silence.

BGF: “I mean, no, I don’t!”

Me: “What! What do you mean, you don’t love me!”

BGF: “Not like that! What I meant to say was your hair looks nice today!”

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Right now…

Can’t you just hear the Van Halen song?

Right now, I’m…

Reading:

Kat James, The Truth about Beauty, re-release

The Ministry of Special Cases, by Nathan Englander

Listening To:

“Flashing Lights,” Kanye West

“Apologize,” Timbaland featuring OneRepublic

“Save Me,” Remy Zero

Shopping For:

This insanely cute retro tapestry bag from Etsy seller Abi Bansal Design.

The Market Bag by Moop

Uccello zipper pouch from DrikaB (which, apparently, everyone else loves too because it’s sold out!)

Vera Bradley Villager bag. One of my students had this print on a bag yesterday and I was distracted by it for a full two minutes. It’s so cute in real life!

Admiring:

This super cute pea-pod necklace from Etsy seller thepebblecollection

A gorgeous print from irenesuchocki

An awesome B&W photograph printed on this skirt, from Aliaison

Oh Etsy, how I love you!

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McLovin

It’s kind of a dumb movie. But this…this is gold.

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Just a taste, really

Little did I know that one of my favorite bloggers also has videos on YouTube. Although, really, who doesn’t these days? Just watching this reminds me of our cats with the dogs. One would assume, if one didn’t know otherwise, that dogs and cats are enemies. I prefer to think of ours as “frenemies.” Yes, that was retarded, I know. Get over it.

But really, the cats and dogs are a bit like Charlie and the cows: buds. And this shows a whole lot of trust:

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